Jesus doesn't like rainbows

Talofa all

It’s my birthday today and also Easter Sunday: the day that Jesus, after being crucified, disappearing from his grave, descending into hell to let all, or maybe just some (depending on who you listen to) of the tormented souls free and then rose better than a transfigured Edmonds sponge cake.

Seems like a good day to post this new as an easter chick poem.

Jesus doesn’t like rainbows

R is for Red and rainbows and Jesus doesn’t like rainbows because they cause the sexualisation of children.

O is for Orange and Jesus doesn’t like orange or rainbows because they hijack our local councils. We don’t want our city to become another San Francisco.

Y is for Yellow and Jesus doesn’t like yellow because yellow is a dangerous weirdo and our kids do not need to be exposed to these weirdos.

G is for Green and Jesus doesn’t like green; yes, it is the colour of the leaf that the dove brought to show Noah that God had finished drowning the entire human race, but, it’s also the colour of child grooming.

B is for Blue and Jesus (and his friends) don’t like blue because blue is a perversion.

I is for Indigo and immoral subterfuge and Jesus doesn’t like that and neither should you.

V is for Violet which Jesus doesn’t like, but he does like strong masculine men, in fact those are the only kind of men that Jesus loves.

When I was a child I learnt about Roy G. Biv but now Jesus says (through his anointed prophets and their followers) that Roy is the enemy, Roy is the devil and the G actually stands for Gay

and Biv is code for the anti-Christ who will arrive in high heels, a dress, false boobies, a big wig and false eyelashes.