Jesus doesn't like rainbows

A poem in support of Auckland's rainbow parade and Hugo Grrrl's Rainbow Show

Jesus doesn’t like rainbows

R is for Red and rainbows and Jesus doesn’t like rainbows because they cause the sexualisation of children.

O is for Orange and Jesus doesn’t like orange or rainbows because they hijack our local councils. We don’t want our city to become another San Francisco.

Y is for Yellow and Jesus doesn’t like yellow because yellow is a dangerous weirdo and our kids do not need to be exposed to these weirdos.

G is for Green and Jesus doesn’t like green; yes, it is the colour of the leaf that the dove brought to show Noah that God had finished drowning the entire human race, but, it’s also the colour of child grooming.

B is for Blue and Jesus (and his friends) don’t like blue because blue is a perversion.

I is for Indigo and immoral subterfuge and Jesus doesn’t like that and neither should you.

V is for Violet which Jesus doesn’t like, but he does like strong masculine men, in fact those are the only kind of men that Jesus loves.

When I was a child I learnt about Roy G. Biv but now Jesus says (through his anointed prophets and their followers) that Roy is the enemy, Roy is the devil and the G actually stands for Gay

and Biv is code for the anti-Christ who will arrive in high heels, a dress, false boobies, a big wig and false eyelashes.